End.

I know this craziness has to end. The only question is when.

I know that it’s weird to pray for this kind of things but i do. I asked Him for this momentary happiness and he granted it. Momentary. That’s what it is.

Now, I pray for strength.

I do..

God has a way of making things so precise. So exact. He has been so good to me and yet, what I am doing?

By some mischief of fate, we might truly fall in love once. You know that one great love old folks refer to. Many lovers may get into our lives but there is only one person, with that one smile, one kiss, one hug, and one moment that our hearts will never replace. That’s why, after all the chips are down, we just know, we’ll never fall in love that way again.

One great love… that kind of love which never fades despite the pain. That kind of love which never cease whatever the circumstance is. That kind of love where you love because you just do.

Still…

Though I have said a million times that i have already accepted those things I cannot change, my heart still hopes.

Back to zero.

Reality check…

Reality, this is one hard fact to accept.

Maybe, at times, we can fool ourselves that things go and have gone the way we imagine them but life has a way of leading us back to reality. And then reality hurts us big time. Again.

Can we pretend a bit longer?

Just a bit longer?

Until it gets more painful.

Until I get numb.

trying to be back!

i miss this.

i’ll try to write again. promise.

One weekend…

Had a fun weekend at Jen’s place in Pandi, Bulacan. Place sounds familiar? Well, it’s very much in the news these days. Hehe.. Friday pa lang andun na ko and the rest of our friends followed Saturday afternoon. Then we went home Sunday.

I met Jen’s mom, dad and brother. They are all nice. Kinuwento nila lahat ng kaartehan ng anak nila. Although alam ko na lahat  yun. Hehe.

We helped Nanay cook Friday night and I even perfected the art of wrapping lumpiang shanghai. Tapos we went to the market early Saturday morning and there I saw this blue angel and I fell in love with it the first time I saw it. Nanay bought and gave it to me as a souvenir. I love it! I thought of naming it Jen but I realized di bagay ang name na Jen sa angel so I named it JP, after Jen’s brother.

Daming food. Videoke till morning. Got drunk. Fun! But the best thing was the midnight stroll riding JP’s Honda scooter and her cousin’s “tora-tora”. Nakakatuwa!

Babalik ako dun. Promise! Kahit malayo sya. Kahit liblib na lugar sya. At home ako dun. I feel I belong. Hehe…

Thanks to you Jen and to your family. And of course, how can I forget Lawrence…

Gov. V!

I had the opportunity to meet Governor Vilma Santos. We shook hands! And I was so starstruck. hehe..

Great day. So that’s what public service is all about. Fun!

Our Lady of Fatima

And  She surely did.

Past time…

view from the top

the inside

Result…

If only time could move a little bit slower…

Much as I try not to think of it, only that consumes my thought. In my dreams and in my waking moments.

To divert my thoughts, I try to think of happy moments and even the saddest. But that same thought just keeps on creeping back.

I am scared. Really.

I hope.

I pray.

Hopeful…

This early, some are already asking for the result. And this makes me more stressed and nervous.

Malapit na.

D&G (smile)

from ate (again)

*****

from my tita L

from eve

from doc jane

Others are complaining why I received more expensive gifts. Why? Because I am good. Hehehe… Not really. Nagtitipid lang mga yun. They combined the graduation gift and the Christmas gift. Daya!

Salamat! Others to follow. (big smile)

Three dots…

Missing someone is one of the worst feelings in the world.

I’m missing someone lately…

If only life were fair and easy…

11 Minutes…

Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it.  But in order to do that, we need the other person.  The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with. I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side. -Paulo Coelho

Early…

Christmas started early this year. I received gifts already.

New slippers from my ate.

 ***** 

New phone from dad along with the free monthly bill.

More to come.

I’ve been a good girl this year. I think.

Thank you.

Yawn…

I am still awake.

I know that it’s a thing of the past.

And there it will remain.

Batasan Hills…

I have been to the far away land called Batasan Hills. It’s not my first time, but the last time I was there was… hmmmm… eight years ago? I think.

I am unfamilar with the place but it is impossible to get lost here in Manila. All you need to have is a pocketful of money and a little bit of charm. Heheh…

Quezon City is a nice place, I must say. Nice place. Nice people.

Several are complaining how slow the processing in government offices. But I experienced otherwise. I was able to secure a copy of the certificate of my civil service eligibility in 15 minutes. Fast no… Thanks Manong. I was expecting that he will tell me to wait for three weeks, as my Tita guessed. But… 15 minutes! Thank you! Charm lang talaga. Hehe…

And the transcript… my classmate told me that I would wait at least a week to have a copy. I applied yesterday around 3 pm and guess what?! It is ready for pick up tomorrow morning. Again. Charm.

These events made me realize two things.

First, do not confine yourself to one place. There are more beautiful places around. Explore. Expand your horizon. Do not be afraid. And you will be amazed.

And second. Show a little bit of niceness… It is rewarding.

Ifs…

I want to stop wondering what if…

I want to know what is…

Familiar. Hmmm..

The 10 most…

Busy weekend.

First, I failed to watch the tree planting project of Miss Earth last Friday. To think that they had lunch at my Tito’s place. Di ko na matandaan ang reason. Ah! Preparation for my Tita’s birthday pala. My Dad was there and of course, my male cousins. Sayang!

Tapos, last Saturday… We attended an event wherein my Dad was awarded as one of the “Ten Most Outstanding Public Servant” in Batangas City. Nainip kami but then, ok lang. We all feel great that at least our dad was acknowledged. He deserves it. In fact, he deserves more!

Congrats to my dad!

Day before Yesterday…

Three missionaries from Mexico paid our home a visit this aftrenoon. It was a nice chat. Nothing really biblical. Just a casual chat with my mom and my cousins. One of the missionaries shared to me his favorite verse:

The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. -Romans 8:18-